Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1

After just over a year, the Twi-nomenon has returned in all of its twi-glory.  Twi-hards can be heard rejoicing all over the en-twire world.  The twi-series is back to earning to some major twi-bucks.  Okay, that’s enough of that.  Love it, hate it or just not really caring much about it at all (I place myself in the latter), TWILIGHT is guaranteed for at least one thing; complete Box Office dominance.  It did not disappoint earning itself a spot behind the very epic DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 2 that premiered back in July for the second highest grossing opening weekend this year.  Not bad, but there is a line to be drawn between quantity (ticket sales) and film quality. 

For those of you who follow my writing you might remember my mini-adventure involving ECLIPSE.  If not, you can read it here.  Those of you who don’t should hang your head in utter shame.  Since I put time and effort into that film, I figured I might as well attempt to do the same for this one.  Only I didn’t, I was simply invited and figured ‘why not?’, if anything I’ll earn myself a free 2 hours of sleep.  But while I actually felt that BREAKING DAWN’s predecessor was a semi-decent film, I don’t really feel like I can say the same for the latest chapter however.

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Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part II (2011)

Sitting in the theater I waited surprisingly patient for the conclusion of the end.  The end of an epic, the end of an era, the end of something rather big.  Heck, you might as well call the Harry Potter series this generations Star Wars.  Yeah, it lasted two more movies than the latter did but still, it’s that big a deal.  I got there pretty early, finished up my nachos and reluctantly listened to the mixed crowd of mostly young and quite annoying people count down the time until the final installment began.  Finally, the lights lowered, the speakers awoken and we were met with about almost 10 minutes of previews.  The only one I was really, really, really (did I use enough really’s) looking forward to was The Dark Knight Rises.  Yeah I saw it already but I was actually a little nervous to see it on the big screen.  After it was over, I kind of felt like my evening had reached its climax.  I realized I was more looking forward to this 1:36 teaser trailer than the actual feature film I had paid money for.  It was then that I knew what a woman felt like whose partner didn’t quite last as long as she had hoped.  But, thankfully, that all changed about a half hour into the movie.

Harry (Danielle Radcliffe), Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) are still looking for the Horcruxes.  For those of you who don’t follow, these are seemingly random items that are the keys to defeating the Dark Lord known as Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes).  He has recently gathered the Elder Wand (a wand that makes its owner unbeatable) and is gaining strength.  The crew as I call them must desperately find the remaining Horcruxes and destroy them in order to have any shot at defeating this wizard.  Throughout the film, and book, they enlist help from any and everywhere they can possibly find it.  All the way up to the point where You-Know-Who comes gently knocking on the walls of Hogwarts castle looking to kill “the boy who lived”.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Part four and counting, Walt Disney Pictures continues its one time trilogy into a, for now, quartet of a film franchise. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides returns to the screen with basically some of its original, cheery-eyed cast intact. Usuals and choice favorites, Orland Bloom & Keira Knightley, chose not to reprise their roles. But everyone’s lovable and normally deceitful captain sailed his way back onto the theater. Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, excuse me, Captain Jack Sparrow is with new direction this time. Rob Marshall picks up directing duties from the franchises normal head, Gore Verbinksi.

When we last found Captain Sparrow (Johnny Depp) he had set sail in a tiny dinghy in the direction of the Fountain of Youth. By now, four years later, you would think that maybe he has found it. You would be incorrect because movie time has never quite equaled real-life time. Not only has he not yet found these legendary waters but we find his first mate, Mr. Gibbs (Kevin McNally), on trial with the court believing that he is in fact Sparrow. After exchanging some dazzling pleasantries with the King of England’s superior guards, with them in pursuit of him, Sparrow crosses paths with someone from his past. Enter the still very beautiful Penelope Cruz as Angelica, yet another female that the womanizing Sparrow has “loved and left”.

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Thor (2011)

Marvel movie number whatever it is right now is the second big film of the summer.  I only say that because Fast 5 has proven itself to be the first.  Even though it is still officially Spring, the mega-blockbusters are beginning to roll themselves into theaters.  Hopefully so that many moviegoers will roll green-colored- paper out of their wallets and roll their butts into the seats.  Thor is one of many links on the path towards Marvel’s eventual Avengers destination.  The next link on this road will be Captain America, which just might turn out to better than this step. 

Chris Hemsworth takes on the role of the God of Thunder and the heir to Odin’s, the king of Asgard, (Anthony Hopkins) throne.  From the beginning of the film, the audience can sense the jealousy that is pulsating from Loki (Tom Hiddleston), Thor’s younger brother.  When the day finally arrives for him to realize his destiny as King, the eldest prince proves that he truly isn’t ready. He carries himself with a brash and recklessness of a warrior but not a leader.  After there is a breach in security by the Frost Giants, enemies to Odin and the people of Asgard, Thor instantly wishes to declare war upon them.  Not even the strict forbiddance of this by his father deters the eventual hero from paying the race of giants a visit.

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Sucker Punch (2011)...will leave you with a Black-eye that you'll like

Bringing us visual delights such as 300 & Watchmen, director Zack Snyder transfers another epic green screen production into theaters. This time around our heroes are not muscled warriors nor do they have super powers. Well not unless you consider the ability to fight giant samurai and even bigger dragons while wearing tiny outfits a super power. Sucker Punch tells the visually-powered tale of a young girl desperately trying to escape an institution that her step-father admits her to against her will.

Emily Browning plays the lead role of Baby Doll. Following the death of her mother, she is placed in an all girl institution by her step dad. While there she meets four other young girls whom she befriends; Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), her sister Rocket (Jena Malone), Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens) and Amber (Jamie Chung). After struggling at first to deal with being locked away, Baby Doll is able to retreat to a type of alternate reality within her imagination which allows her to cope with her troubles. During these trips into this reality, she comes across a Wiseman (Scott Glenn) who instructs her that she needs to find five things in order to escape her prison.

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Tron: Legacy (2010)

Almost three whole decades after its predecessor, Disney brings us back to the grid with Tron: Legacy. Funny as it may seem, the special effects used to create the virtual world in the original film was seen as some pretty state-of-the-art stuff back in 1982. It almost seems kind of unfair to compare to it to this sequel. Technology has taken a giant step or two in the last thirty years or so. The grid, as Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) calls it, is now brought to us in crisp 3-D.

Since creating the uber-popular video game, Tron, Flynn has taken over the company known as ENCOM. He has turned it into a very likeable and successful software giant until he mysteriously disappears. His son, Sam (Garret Hedlund), has no plans on filling his father’s shoes despite owning controlling shares in the international empire. After Flynn’s disappearance, the higher-ups in the company begin to take it in a direction that he had never intended. Despite not wanting a part in fixing the company, Sam occasionally drops in to make the developers who work there jobs a little tough.

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The Last Airbender (2010)

           Since one of the most financially successful directors & producers of all that is time snatched the title Avatar away to describe his mega-tall blue people, M. Knight had to simply call his film The Last Airbender.  Adapted from the very popular animated series created by Michael Dante DiMartino & Bryan Konietzko.  The story plays off of aspects of Chinese culture including martial arts.  The central viewpoint of the story is composed of the four main elements of our world: Air, Water, Earth & Fire.  Many of the characters within both the series and film have the ability to “bend” or manipulate these elements as they see fit.

            Our hero of the series and its’ film counterpart is Aang (Noah Ringer) who is the last airbender alive.  At the beginning of the film he is found frozen within a block of ice by a brother and sister duo, Katara (Nicola Peltz) & Sokka (Jackson Rathbone).  The two children accidentally free him and eventually learn of his legendary identity.  This being that he is the Avatar, a special member and last of a clan of air nomads whom have mastered the ability to bend the air around them.  After learning of his destiny to protect the world from evil and maintain peace throughout it, he fled his village and became suspended in ice for a hundred years until he was freed. 

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows...part I: Midnight Madness

A total of 13 years, including the release date of the very first book, 6 films and 7 books later, we are finally introduced to the first installment in the final piece of the great epic that is Harry Potter. Hope everyone was able to follow that. Assuming that you were, I’ll press on. I am quite proud to say that this is probably the first modern movie that I have actually read the book that it was taken from. I have actually read all of them. Due to my sister’s liking of the story when she was much younger, (she could care less about it now; teenagers) I took her to see the very first film way back in 2001 and have been somewhat of a fan ever since. I took the opportunity to catch the midnight release for this one.  I must say that the many films that have been brought to life have done a pretty good job mirroring the books.  This latest and maybe greatest does no different.

We pick up where the last film and book left off. It’s rather difficult to explain the synopsis of this movie without giving away spoilers from the previous films but I’ll try my best. Plus you should have done yourself a favor and simply read the books or at least watched the movies. Anyways, the famous Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) is now dead and the wizarding world is at war. Half want the muggles (non-magic folk) to have nothing to do with the wonders of magic and the other half would like for things to stay the same. That is filled with peace and allowing whomever desires it to try their hand at magic without of course revealing their secret magical society to the rest of the world.

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Legion (2010)

           Say your prayers, be nice to your fellow man, stop all the hatred and fighting, live in peace and harmony and most of all honor and praise Him.  There’s a lot more to it than that obviously, according the Good Book itself, but those are a couple of the basics.  Legion provides a look at a possible result of what can happen if we all don’t follow these rules.  Taking it just a smidgen past living by the Ten Commandments, this film shows us that the Lord is not always all merciful and his Army will do what is necessary to get His point across.

            Basic plot: God is pissed off and sends his Army of angels to take out an unborn child who is destined to lead humanity out of our period of darkness.  Whoever stands in the way of this mission will suffer a similar fate.  Basically, we’ve had our chance to live in His vision and have failed miserably.  Michael the Archangel (Paul Bettany) takes it upon himself to disobey his orders to kill the child and decides instead to try to protect it.  His faith in mankind hasn’t wavered and he alone stands in the way of humanity and complete extermination.

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The Lovely Bones (2010)

The director that brought us the epic trilogy dubbed The Lord of the Rings makes an attempt to put another novel on the big screen. Unfortunately, the success from Peter Jackson’s previous project did not transfer over onto this film. The Lovely Bones originally written by novelist Alice Sebold which was published in 2002 tells a tragic tale of a teenage girl who was murdered during the 1970’s in Pennsylvania.

Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) is a 14-year old aspiring photographer who lives in Norristown, Pennsylvania with her family; her father Jack (Mark Wahlberg), mother Abigail (Rachel Weisz), and her brother and sister, Buckley and Lindsey (Christian Thomas Ashdale & Rose McIver). One day on a walk home from school she takes a shortcut through a cornfield and encounters her quiet but odd neighbor George Harvey (Stanley Tucci).

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Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010)

Remember the days of 8-bit graphics? When controllers had two buttons instead of twenty? When the most important thing in life was not passing fifth grade math (which I sucked at) but passing the seventh level of Super Mario Bros. 3? If you do, then this film produced from the graphic novel series of the same name just might catch your attention. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World combines classic video game graphics with fun action that makes it very original.

Very simple plot: a Canadian 22-year old, the aforementioned Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera), who plays in a band, called the Sex Bob-Ombs and who is currently dating a girl still in high school, Knives Chau (Ellen Wong), unexpectedly meets the girl of his dreams. She was literally in one of his dreams right before they met. Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is a “play life by the ear” female who captures Scott’s heart. What he doesn’t know is that in order to date her, hopefully, he must do battle and defeat her evil, yeah evil, exes. Seven in total, Scott must face and beat all of them if he wants a future with his dream girl.

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The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

Ok, so yeah, I did it. I actually went to see the third entry in the mega phenomenon that the youngsters and even some adults call The Twilight Saga. For whatever reason it has turned into a colossal revenue grossing blockbuster over the last couple of years. Based on novels that I haven’t decided to actually read at the moment written by Stephenie Meyer, the film versions have every pre-teen, and again even grown people of legal drinking age and beyond, yearning for the films’ releases even way before they are scheduled to be released. Now, I did see the previous two chapters. I was told by a very forceful friend that I had to watch Twilight with her and I was dragged by another to the theater to sit though New Moon.

The first was what I expected, teenage melodrama with a vampiric twist that I thought was stealing straight from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (a show that I actually happened to be a huge fan of). If I was reviewing movies back then, I would have given it a very subtle “2 out of whatever it was”. I felt the second was even worse. Although it had some potential because of the CGI created wolves, the story was boring and slow while the acting was even slower. If felt like one conversation between any two characters took at least 25 minutes to even begin to make any sense at all. I would have given it a very dismal “1.5”. I’m being generous with the “.5”. I remembered referring to it as a “waste of two hours of my life”. With Eclipse on the horizon, I swore my Twilight days were over. But that was before I decided to try to become a film critic. So, since it is a film, I must critique it, and once again do so without bias. So here goes:

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