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Oh, the Horror! pt. 5...

Tamara (2006)

Add the on-going high school tradition of hazing and bullying that will most likely carry on forever with the practice of witchcraft and you get this film, Tamara. Usually revenge based horror films are “A-ok” with me. They make for some pretty entertaining shots of viciously getting back at those who did the main character wrong. Look at the perfect template for that, Carrie. This film, on the other hand, could not hold that movie’s hair if it had to throw up from watching this one.

The basic premise consists of a teenage girl, Tamara (Jenna Dewan), who dresses with no self esteem, is constantly teased and whose father rather give affection to his collection of beer bottles than to his own daughter. She develops a crush on a teacher in school and decides to try a love spell on him after she makes a move on him and is rejected. A couple of mean teens decide to play a cruel joke on her by pretending to be the teacher and invite her to be with him at a motel. Bottom line, things go horribly wrong and she winds up on the other side of the living, or so they think. She goes through the rest of the movie magically controlling them into doing whatever she wishes, some in the bloodiest of ways.

The best thing about this film might be the special effects, but then again they weren’t even that great. Some scenes of gore did yield some substantial amounts of quality that might make its audience cringe a little. Story wise, the screenplay written by Jeffrey Reddick was pretty simple. Girl is tormented, girl practices black message, girl exacts her revenge on those humiliating her.

Beyond some decent looking females and a small unexpected same sex mini-romp, this film holds no surprises. I’m beginning to believe that all of the great horror films were indeed made back in the day. Perhaps that is why there are so many remakes of them. I give Tamara “2 ridiculed, obsessive teenage girls who practice dark magic out of 5”.

“Sorry, Sean can't come to the phone right now, he's f**king Patrick.”

Stuck (2007)

Another horror/thriller that I found interesting after reading the synopsis that unfortunately became somewhat frustrating for me. Stuck give us a look into what it would be like becoming homeless in an instant and then having your life get even worse in an even shorter flash.

Mena Suvari plays Brandi, a nurse who works at a senior citizen home and is up for a promotion. Stephen Rea plays Thomas Bardo who is our character who has just recently become homeless. Their lives intersect coincidentally enough at a street intersection when Brandi, after a night of drinking, clubbing and ecstasy ingesting, gets in her car and hits Thomas. He becomes lodged in her windshield with her panicking and not knowing what to do. The remainder of the story has her and her drug-dealing boyfriend, Rashid (Russell Hornsby), trying to figure out a way to do away with the seriously injured man who is still alive having survived his brutal collision.

I thought the very un-common aspect of having a car accident victim becoming stuck inside the windshield of their assailants’ vehicle was great. Especially when the driver freaks out and decides to simply continue driving instead of stopping their car and trying to help the person who now knows what a bug must feel like. I kept yelling at the characters to do something about their predicament. It didn’t make matters any better when Brandi enlisted the help of her “I’m a real cool badass until I’m faced with a serious life and death situation in which I will then become a bumbling idiot that is absolutely of no help to my girlfriend” boyfriend.

The plot unfolds at a relatively slow enough pace to make you want to pull your hair out. It began with some great points to set-up the story such as displaying the time as the day went on for each character in preparation for their chance meeting later on. It’s an understatement to say that I was disappointed. I also give Stuck “2 reasons to use more than your windshield wiper to get a person out of your windshield out of 5”.

“Help me…heelp me…heeelp me…F**k!”

Breathing Room (2008)

I blame myself for the choice of movies I decided to watch during my mini-horror fest this week. I found my frustration building at times, especially seeing as how the horror genre is my favorite one to watch. For this film, I just sat around wanting it to end.

Breathing Room begins with a woman, Tonya (Ailsa Marshall), waking up naked and stumbling into a room with a group of people wearing electronic collars and all with no idea how they wound up there. What they do know is that they are all part of some kind of game, a deadly one. Little by little rules of the game are explained and soon thereafter someone winds up dying. It goes on and on and on and oh yeah on again like this for quite some time.

I didn’t enjoy this film, not even a little bit. I predicted the weak and incomplete conclusion about midway through and almost jumped for joy when the end credits finally began to roll. I wouldn’t recommend this one to anyone, really, it was that bad.

Perhaps next time I should stick to slasher flicks. Even though you pretty much know what you’re going to get, at least they are entertaining. Well, you live and you learn I suppose. I reluctantly give Breathing Room “1.5 urges to throw my remote at my television out of 5”.

“Congratulations! You have been selected! Prepare for the experience of a lifetime! Players must follow all the rules to avoid penalty.”


Dempsey Sanders said...

agree with you, very much seems that the best were certainly made back in the day with the crap that seems to spill out now. Great post and fair reviews

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